~ Esmei's Diary ~

因为爱情

2011-05-22T17:15:00.001+08:00

Love this song very much ! ~~ 因为爱情 by 王菲 & 陈奕迅

Gei ni yi zhang guo qu de cd ting ting na shi wo men de ai qing
You shi hui tu ran wang le wo hai zai ai zhe ni
Zai chang bu chu na yang de ge qu ting dao dou hui hong zhe lian duo bi
Sui ran hui jing chang wang le wo yi ran ai zhe ni

[Chorus]
Yin wei ai qing bu hui qing yi bei shang
Suo yi yi qie dou shi xing fu de mo yang
Yin wei ai qing jian dan de sheng zhang
Yi ran sui shi ke yi wei ni feng kuang
Yin wei ai qing zen ma hui you cang sang
Suo yi wo men hai shi nian qing de mo yang
Yin wei ai qing zai na ge di fang
Yi ran hai you ren zai na li you dang ren lai ren wang

Zai chang bu chu na yang de ge qu ting dao dou hui hong zhe lian duo bi
Sui ran hui jing chang wang le wo yi ran ai zhe ni

Repeat Chorus

Gei ni yi zhang guo qu de cd ting ting na shi wo men de ai qing
You shi hui tu ran wang le wo hai zai ai zhe ni

RIP Cousin Sis

2011-01-30T20:57:00.003+08:00

I just when to a funeral yesterday night at PJ, Jalan 229.

It was late at about 11pm. 3 of us girl in a car driving thru Jalan 222 and we were finding our ways to the parlour. We stopped by a shop and saw an uncle and we dropped by to asked for direction.

We asked the uncle "do you know how can we get to Parlour nearby this area?" The uncle stunned for a while. We were so afraid that the uncle would answer us that there is no parlour around this area. Finally the uncle give us a detailed direction to the Parlour and finally we reach there around 11.30pm.

What I can see is tomb stone and graveyard opposite to the parlour in dark and when we arrived we could saw there is two funeral. My cousin sis passed away at age 51 years old due to breast cancer. 1 of out 5 women is the ratio on possibility of getting breast cancer.

I wish to raise everyone's awareness on breast cancer as it is no 1 killer among many cancers among the Asian besides cervical cancer. We have not known about my cousin sis's getting cancer and when we knew its that she passed away.

When we reach the parlour house none of her family members nor friend was there. Its so lonely and solemn. We pay our last respect burning jossstick to my cousin sis. Uncontrollably, I dropped tears on the spot.

It was her last journey and it was very solemn no one is there. We have been informed by the staff in charge that her family members had just left the parlour not long ago. I greatly felt that life is so fragile, this second I will be seeing you but we wont know what will happen next.

Cousin sis escape from fate once when she had dengue fever way back 3- 4 years back. But sadly, she cant run from her fate this time. Rest in peace cousin sis. May you be blessed in your next life.

Today's weather is like so moody and its raining the whole day. I do hope we could appreciate our lifes everyday and every moment.

Happy New Year 2011

2011-01-23T22:43:00.003+08:00

It been a year since I blog again. Hi everyone ! Sorry has not been updating since a year back.

Its been thru ups and down and have u change any this year? Have you met your target and achieve what you have been dreaming off lately?

Let me list down what I wish to achieve this year:-

1) To achieve at least some recognition in work. I.e. salary, ranking, knowledge wise
2) To able to save money starting from now on. No shopping for unnecessary stuff. To start saving for investment or asset
3) To control emotions - not getting irritate for small things. Do not sweat for small stuffs
4) Getting in control of work by organising and monitoring deadline tightly
5) To be more responsible and independent
6) Spend more time with family, friends and love 1 :)

Haha... even though it seems to be achievable and not difficult to achieve thou i still hope it will goes pretty well with all the above list. Cheers!

Beginning of Year 2010

2010-02-07T02:22:00.002+08:00

start to felt older when time passes.... too fast too furious the time is passing so fast i cant believe im 25 this year...

Beginning of the year been to BKK for a break.... and has been fallen sick before and prior to that trip. And I shopped a lot for the trip i uses about RM1K++.. frankly now i look back on the stuffs i dunno what and how i use up so much for the trip...

So many things rosak ... my lap top rosak la.. hp rosak, mp3 rosak, speaker rosak.. haiz.. what a bad bad days. Its hard to finance myself since I have so many wish list on hand now and things going dead 1 by 1 ....

whatever it is ... i just cant think off more but just to let bygone be bygones... cant worries anymore of those small stuffs and have learn how to not sweat about small stuffs. recently been going in to sleep earlier compared last time and i felt much more healthier nowadays..

CNY is just around the corner... whats more ?? hope to get more ang pau's , everyone in good health and may everyone prosper in everything they do! career wise, hope everything goes smooth and "pou pou kou sing" la...

Year Ended 2009 ... Recap ~~

2009-12-30T22:02:00.005+08:00

This is my year. Cause I am a cowy !! Moo Moo.... never had I imagined of my dreams being come true this year instead of the last one. The year is filled with ups and downs.. low and high. Definitely, what we called life!

Ce'st La Vie..... Last year I told myself this year I won't let myself down again and hoping for better and more this year!! Thank god I had surpassed the year which I wont mourn in life for what I had when thru this year.

Started with January, blasting thru my year in Citibank working as a Citiphone officer. Which leaves a quite good memory and much bitter and sour !! Thank to the customer which "fuXk" me in the phone. Cause I will always remember you ! u made my year too which is now a joke for me whenever I told my friend about working in CTB experiences...

I remember it was 1 day before eve of CNY ! This year my CNY ended on 2nd day of CNY due to work nature. I m forced to take extra 1 day without permission but I 've got no choice cause I am back to my home town in Penang. This year is the 1st year going back to darling hometown...

Everything goes pretty well until I submitted my resignation letter, it was also followed by passing the Accounting paper on last february which is a blessing to me.. I nearly gave up before the exam... >.<

I followed a friend to "Ah Pak San" at Cheras. We have jungle trekking with only 4 people... We climbed up and down 2 mountains. Still a beginner but been thru such a challenging mount.. I almost give up half way. The mount is too difficult for me to climb. There is no proper path. its a muddy road ... Kecerunan bukit is around 20-70 degrees. Some part is quite difficult to reach so might need a rope to climb. And I was all alone. No one helps me but only me! I realised I am stronger than I imagined. There is time where I wish I want to go backway to the ground but I was in between. I have no choice but to follow my friend to climb up to the peak.... We took 4-5 hours climbing up and down 2 forests consecutively.

There are times where my friend is completely out of my sight. Not feeling funl but its time for me to realise that I need to be on my own. Althought its dangerous.. I might got lost in the forest but I know I must be brave and not afraid to confront it. So this is where I found the strength in my STUDIES. I am very pain and tired. I have no strength and energy to finish my journey. But I know there's nothing else harder than that.

There are time where I thought of calling a helicop to sent me back from the peak of the mount. Cause I am truly exhausted up there. Here I learned I need to be determined and to think positive in everything I do. I know i CANT GIVE UP EASLIY. We cheered each other up to continue going thru the way back. we were going thru another mount to see the waterfalls actually! There's a price for everything.

I gave myself a chance to outshine myself so I perform in CTP got Talent. I volunteered myself which i think a sacrifice and need guts..haha

After my last day, I am still praying for the results. I pray a lot from Melaka state to Terengganu. Thank God cause they heard my prayers! I had a good trip to Redang which I really enjoyed. I sat on an AA plane and I told myself if my dreams come true, in no more than 2 weeks I will be sitting on the plane leaving to UK again.

The day has come, but my family encounter series of depression due to a family member of mine. Seriously the whole family turns haywire. We almost burnout and bro been hospitalised. The whole family was disturbed by the problem. On the same day I got my results. I thought I'd be very happy but I am not.

The whole 2 weeks was very miserable for me and the whole family. Mom was crying all days, sis almost broke off, dad being exhausted due to work... I was alone again in settling down my stuffs to UK. I almost gave up again in realising my dreams..

I am lucky my whole family supported me financially. When the days come my heart gots complicated. Ain't happy nor sad. Emotionless. 1 by 1 of my family is leaving my mom which is my great concern. Bro once leave to Vietnam for work and Sis leaves to China for tour guiding and concurrently my bro and me is flying off 1 after another.

Lucky to have my aunties who acc my mom and brought mom to travel after that. Thanks "Tua Yee & Er Yee".

Frankly I am very lucky cause if I didn't pass this will be my last attempt and chance. After when to UK then only I get to know the last paper I sat for is actually score 50 marks which is the border of passing marks!! I guess the lec helps in passing me and some luck too! "IF" i fail, I m not gonna get to UK and I am gonna lost my Degree and need to repeat the whole course. Its a final chance and I finally MADE IT thru!!!! I am proud of myself not because its good result BUT I CRIED IN MY HEART i made it at last!! No one knows what I 've been thru. Its easy for other to pass but not me. I struggle a lot.. HOW much endurance and pain and effort I've putted in... NO one can sees...... who knows? NOBODY KNOWS.... but ME.... No one sees her crying 1 day before exam due to stress, no 1 know how she feels.. no one know how much hope the family has to her... no one knows how much guilt she is having thru the year. "Shih Mei, YES!! you made it!! Sis and bro telling this to me before I leaves to UK. I am truly touched by them... cause they can feel it and mom said to auntie in the phone while crying "Ah Mei finally made it after so much obstacles!!!"

Been to UK is like a dreams to me which I still cant believe its REALISED. I told them, I still could not believe I am there at that moment! Thanks a lot for the bond we had strengthen and ties during our days in UK and thanks for being a great friend. We had so much memories I wish i wont forget until the moment I die....

Its is somehow my achievements for the year and I am truly satisfied on what I've been thru the year. Never had i Imagined and expected such a great thing is happening in my LIFE! So 4 months has been passed and its time for another turning point in my life. Choice btw stay or not stay for work in UK.

Sadly i had a nightmare in Europe casue indecisive to think of staying or leaving. I am not like a home girl but mom treat me like a home girl... So I ended coming back to Msia. When the moment I was about to go back to Msia things start turning sour... mom and dad fall sick on the same time which I think they NEED me.... sudden panic attacked me. I am panic and fear things doesn't goes the i always wanted.

I plan so much in UK ended up all blown up. my plan is left with "a plan" without having realising it. No I wont blame anyone but myself. .. at this point of time I m feeling helpless and this is where Ric came up by listening and giving me a lot of support.

Darling help me a lot thru the year. There is always a reason why I love him... knowingly btw both of us.. Although sometime I am childish but after a while I'd be better and turm back to you. I tried to be rational but its just hard sometime... Undeniably he did something beyond what a bf can takes... No one could endure but him not even my best friend.

I am always calmed down by his advice and convince. I complaint and hatred on you but deep inside I am the opposite way. I know I am stubborn.. just let me stubborn for a while then I'd be ok! But I am sad when you were angry with me cause u looks so fierce!

I always believe fate is in your hand... I can change it if I want, its a matter whether you dare or not dare. What it takes is just another steps ahead.... every consequences is from what you have made. I believe everyone can change themself if they wants to. And remaining silent is not an option tho.

What it takes is some guts and later is all about risk. You ain't young anymore so you need to go ALL OUT!! Appreciate every opportunities in lifes and treasure everything you have. Makes life no regret! If you didn't do it now, you are not gonna do it when your old, remember! while still young, do whatever you want with limits and boundaries!

I know where is my boundaries... I know my limit! time is cost, being young is an asset. Bear it in the mind!!

Closing of year 2009 in about 24 hours.. Counting down...... the closing of my blog for this year too....

this year is great !!!! and hereby I am Welcoming another new year 2010 ........!!

~ Happy New Year friend !!!!~

Merry & Xmas !!

2009-12-23T23:25:00.001+08:00

Christmas is just around the corner..... am excited on the next plan to Melaka on Christmas day!!

Am excited to prepare for dinner tmrw!!

Will be cooking for dearie for dinner - Tuna Wrap with thousand island dressing, Mushroom soup with brocolli, Smoke sausage & salad ! ^^

Stay tune ... !!

My Dream Last Night....... ****

2009-12-20T15:50:00.002+08:00

I have this dream this morning.... And I was real disturb by it. It felt so real and I am awake thinking should I followed the dream?

I dreamt of I'd be flying off to UK that day. And in a about a few hours I will be leaving. But problem is I don't have a Visa nor I don't have a valid reason to go in to the country which I might face high possibility that I will be asked to fly back to the country.

So I was thinking of giving the reason that I would be flying off to study for Masters. I remembered once a senior told me that what I need to do is to get the 1st sem course fees settle and upon reaching there I may work part time to pay off my tuition fees.

Tho it was very tempting to make such decision but when to think back what's the main reason you want to go back for? Is it for fun? for travel? or for study? But I could imagine that it would be great if I could fly back.

To my surprised when I was awake I am still thinking of what I dream of. It feels so real that I am actually facing dilemma in my dream and making decisions. I felts like tho tmrw I am really flying off to UK again.

Its winter now and in some countries it is snowing now. I guess its my unconscious mind that leads me to have such dream. Well, its just a dream .. Dream... which only remains a Dream..

Hard to foreseen and difficult to realized in this time... But I hope to appear in dreams again back to the place again .......

Back Log - Lake District 250709

2009-12-18T21:07:00.012+08:00

Well... today we followed school trip to Lake District located at Windermere and is England's largest National Park.

It will be the last trip Richard leading the tour to Lake District. And he's been there every year so he could memorise the history of Lake District very well. Along the way he is describing on the history of the places. And today we when out from house around 8am. We were suppose to gather at the guard house in front of Atlantic Point at 745am but we were all late. So end up I am sitting with a strangers on the bus.

We climbed thru the mount and walked for about 45 to 1 hours to reach to this lake. The view is breathtaking and the air was very fresh on the day. We picnicked there by having our packed lunch. I had noodles that day but it turned cold due to the chilling weather that day.

On the way to the lake, we bumped with meadow cow over the field. This this year is my year I am consider lucky to have opportunity to snap a pic with the cow at such a close gap. I am afraid frankly cause you can measure the size with us. They are 2 to 3 times huge than us. And I am wearing red jacket that day ^^

Here you go our tour guide ! Mr. Richard Walker .

Well, this is my water jacket bought at Sports Direct at 4.99pound. Warm but thin... most importantly cover us from being wet and from wind!

Umbro windbreaker team

This was at Windermere. After Lake District we were bring over to the village nearby but we didn't get to the boat ride tho so its a bit waste. But who cares, next trip brought me to a fantastic and nerve wrecking experience in a speed boat with sharp cornered!

Harbour at Windermere

Fab List of Memoir in Liverpool, England

2009-12-10T21:38:00.007+08:00

Before my memory turn worst before i forget everything when my memory is still fresh.. its good to jot down some details in my diary so next time it can be referred by other people. So it serves the purpose of a blog! Which is to expose and tell everyone what's happening..

Let's start with things to eat in UK:-
1) Lobster Pot (kebabs & fish and chips)
2) Mr. Chilli (sichuan steamboat-super spicy)
3) Yates - western food
4) Behind John Foster Building (english breakfast) - toasts, sausage, eggs
5) Casiono's - Leo, Mint, Circus - good to go during mid nite!
6) Bazooka chicken - fried chicken
7)KFC - not to go. the chic is so small and oily
8) McD - go for the 1 pound beef burger or chicken burger !! you'll get free 1 burger if buy a set and show your ID card
9) Subway - cost around 2 pound for a Turkey melts.... it has also teriyaki chicken but not so nice.
10) Dim Sum - most famous dim sum in liverpool would be at China Town (Harbour City) which famous for its porcupine ("lin yong pau") or May May Dim Sum - try its duck wrap in popiah roll!
11) Marriot, Liverpool - buffet which cost about 5.99 pound-eat all you can ^^
12) La Tasca - spanish dish with its infamous Paella & tapas ( Paella with chicken, squid, king prawns, mussels, peas and green beans, topped with asparagus, artichoke, red pepper and lemon wedges.)

more and more and more to go on the list ....

Where do you shop for cloths - ladies ?
stroll down....

1) Sports direct (cheap branded cloths like Nike, Adidas, Puma
2) Vero Moda
3) Primark (super cheap with gd quality but always long queue)
4) H & M
5) Top Shop
6) Jane Norman
7) Next
8) Levi's
9) JJB (sports wear)
10) Burberry
11) La Senza
12) Esprit
13) Ted baker
14) Bench
15) Marks & Spencer
16) Doroty Perkins
17) ProMod
18) River Island
19) Zara
20) Ms. Selfridge

Super mart or Hypermart

1) Tesco (everyday also go. cheese, ham, sausage, donut, vegetable-lettuce, grilled chicken, potato wedges, half price items)
2) Iceland (bread, egg, 1 pound beef, chic burger or 1 pound nasi briayani, western, curry rice, brocolli, McVities Dark Choc, Milk, Banana
3) Poundland (umbrella, titbits - kinder bueno-hippo, shampoo, conditioner, Mcvitie original)
4) 99 pence (jacobbiscuits, spagetthi, pasta sauce
5) Bold street (Bananas, Strawberry, potato, onion, tomato, kiwi)
6) Wilkinson - utensils such as fork and spoon, cutlery, stationery, toilet bursh)
7) St John market (chic breast, chic wing, vegetables, chic drumstick)
8) Argos (pots and pans)
9) Carphone (cheap handphone-pay as you go)
10) Lidl

Shopping complexes

1) Liverpool 1 (L1) - sports direct
2) sT. John
3) Clayton Square
4) Marks & Spencer
5) John Lewis

Hot Spot

1) St. Luke's church
2) Liverpool Cathedral
3) Metropolitan cathedral
4) Albert Dock
5) Leo's Casino
6) Mint Casino
7) L1
8) Walkabout
9) Pink
10) Bar Baa
11) Office
12) LFC (Liverpool football club -Anfield)
13) Sefton Park
14) Crossby
15) University of Liverpool

Health and personal care

1) Body care-selling cheap perfume and skin care
2) Boots - pharmacies (get prescribed medicine when fall sick)
3) Superdrugs - also like Guardian or watson in Malaysia

n etc.

Mary mores upcoming on my blog..check it out soon !! gals, if i miss out anything drop me a msg or comment ya !! thanks !! just want to refresh my memoirs in UK. Tend to forget things easily. must keep the list in my blog then only it will be remembered always and forever !! My brain is so stuck and full with office thingy nowadays. I really forgotten some of my friends name I know in UK. Not to mention about Citibank colleague. I really forgotten all. Remember only those important ones..haiz...

Pig brain ... hehe. Forgive me k!

I Cry ~ by Yao Shi Ting ~

2009-12-06T23:51:00.002+08:00

Every night I find it's so hard to sleep
'Cause I keep thinking of you
And these feelings run deep
Oh baby I try to hide
All these feelings for you
I keep them battled inside
I don't know what else to do
So I cry and nobody hears me
I cry,it's my only solution
I cry,to all this confusion
I cry, with all of my heart
I cry…
Sometimes I wonder
In the blink of my eye
Would you be willing to love me
Would you give it a try
I don't know how else to show you
That our love could be real
I'd be eternally faithfull
Forever I'd feel
So I cry and nobody hears me
I cry,it's my only solution
I cry,to all this confusion
I cry, with all of my heart
I cry…
No one can tell me that I may be wrong
'Cause I know in my heart
This feeling's still burning strong
Can't get you out of my head
Can't get you out of my heart
Can't get you out of my life
No matter if we're apart
So I cry and nobody hears me
I cry,it's my only solution

-------------------------------------------------------

with the only solution so I cry .........
with all of my might I cry....

Holla ~~

2009-11-29T00:42:00.002+08:00

Holla everyone,

Its been a while didn't blog. Since everyday going back home late so now only spend times looking around and wonder in the office on my very own.

Ya its gonna be tough in the beginning. Still struggling to get things done. Work are getting havoc every day. Had some minor migraine during work. Might due to not enough sleep.

Aww.... since coming back from UK been to Melaka, Johor & Sngapore for trip and later on followed by PD. And coming December will be going back to hometown at Kulim, Kedah and Melaka to celeb Xmas. Tandem, January I will be going on trip to Bankok with Ji Mui..... feb CNY will be going back to Penang again and March will be going to Langkawi,, Pahang or Taiwan.

Opps.. so many trip means need to take more leaves which is quite difficult since I am still in probation period. Financially unstable makes me more guilty to have so many trips coming upfront!

Financially stress recently . Am committed to repaying debts now and will be giving both parent pocket moneys. Struggle struggle ........

Self Actualization ......

2009-11-06T00:01:00.003+08:00

Been real tired lately. Not getting used to working yet. As every day need to wakes up early in the morning. It was totally the other way round from how i used to be for the last 1 1/2 months. Normally I would be sleeping at 6 something in the morning or actually been in the state of dreaming only at 7 something and wakes up only in the evening like around 5 something.

1st day to work ! woke up at 5.45 am ! office hour till 5.30 but i leaves at 6.45pm >.< . you know..still new. Nobody asking me to go home so just stay since still got some typing to do. Ain't knowing the urgency of the doc so let's wait till someone asked me. ok..and i just cant sleep that night since I've sleep alot on Sun eve. Forcing self to sleep is real tough n painful. I were only in the state of lullaby around 4am. Reaching early today but no access so waited at the lobby at 30 mins. okay... and i was typing a reso for the whole day which roughly around 15 pages and thr's no s/ware to use only same format based on prv letter. I got so tired after lunch at "Kim Gary" on the 1st day !!! im sizzling .......

ok...so the days goes till the 4th day and I have pecah a senior's record which has worked for almost a year . I wonder how can it be and how could it be? haha..... looks like it gonna continue on. Life's like this ....

Once got back , had my dinner n straightly fainted down on the living room. Haha... only realised im not done anything yet when i woke up at 12am.... so this is the cycle that's going on.

Been taking busses and train this few days. Its really exhausted and tiring. Crowd in the train, jam in the bus, pain on the heels. I really need more sleeps and more time.

I realised I was so silly. After been away for a while I have no updates on the bus fares and nearly took the wrong bus. i took bus without paying n only to realise they have chg the tic sys to 1 way without unlimited ride. uh.... so "malu".....

On the way back home the train had sudden emergency stop at Dang Wangi. it was so fast n wat i heard is the brake sound n screaming voices. While she was laying down on the chair to sleep she realise everyone was is thrown to the front n a lady is screaming hell scary. It awakes me from my nap. I just cant hv time to have any reaction. But the scream real gots my nerve....

On her way to work today ....she saw a beggar sleeping under the bridge at lrt station. She was very solemn to see the his condition. Seems like he's been sleeping on the street all the time. She has suddenly awake and realised she was so lucky she has a job. And still able to do work. She's lucky she just came back from overseas. She sees a lot of things and realised many things in her life.

She has self actualize she was so much luckier than other ppl. The beggar is sleeping on the road side with a blanket. He looks cold and pity. I am lucky I have got shelter, I have a job, Friends, darling n family. She loves everyone around her which support her all the time...

I saw him today n i cant forget him the whole day. She was thinking what she can do and how to improve. sadly... thr's nothing much can be done.

she's speechless and down thru the day.....

She hopes she wont give up and hopes for a brighter day. Peace of mind...

Anfield- Liverpool FC 190709

2009-10-27T04:54:00.010+08:00

This day we were suppose to follow school trip to Edinburgh but luckily we manage to sold if off last minute. On the same time we also plan to go London for 3 days trip but god has led us to another way which is to visit Liverpool FC and some museum tour around the town.

Speaking about London trip we had earlier register to become a member of Malaysian Hall and in the end we have book a room but need to cancel it off since it was too rush to have it all plan last minute. However we have postpone it to a later date which is after the Euro tour !

Early in the morning I am ready to go out from my room. Earlier plan was to go out at 1030am however waited for about more than an hour still no are no action with the rest of the housemates? Guess everyone is busy chatting with family in Malaysia since it was a weekdays. Since i've left with so many free time I decided to tied my hair with pony tails!

So once again we took a Delta cab from Atlantic Point to Anfield which is about 15 mins by taxi. We paid about 5 pound to get there. But we were unlucky cause the ticket is sold out (visit to Museum & the stadium tour)! Sadly, according to a friend Anfield is gonna move to another place soon. So it will be better to pay a visit before the stadium is moving to somewhere else

In the merchandise store - the stuffs they sell is quite expensive compared to Sport Direct. Sport Direct is the cheapest !!

I like their quotes "Every team needs the 12th Man" ! Meaningful nevertheless cool !!

Soon after going thru the merchandise store we were about to leave. But before leaving we had something as a souvenir from LFC. A coin which were mash and squash into a liverpool fc logo. We paid 1 pound 1 pence. It was made by 1 pence actually.

We later when to the Liverpool art gallery by not wasting the day. Actually we wish to continue to explore the Museum which is next door but time doesn't allow since its already late. So end up we spend the rest of the time in the Art Gallery. It was divided into few different parts of the room. It took us about 1 hour plus to walk around the Gallery.

we found this little shop which sells accessories in the art gallery which doesn't cost much.

Yes.. it is all about arts which is very intersting. Surprisingly it is all free !! In UK most of the museum is FOC! But you may need to pay if you want to visit cathedral. This is the opposite with Euro countries. They are doing the other way round where you need to pay to enter into a museum but free of charge if you were to visit a Cathedral! I like UK ways more anyway...

This is a view of a kaleidoscope. I had once diy it for my project when I was in standard 5! Amazingly nice.... it reminds me of my childhood.

- Sheffield & Leeds on 120709-

2009-10-27T04:08:00.008+08:00

Sheffield

A flash back on the places I've visited in the last 3 months. Sheffield is one of the "must" go places since it is known because of Sheffield Hallam University. As early as 7.45am we took bus from Liverpool National Express station to Sheffield which took about 2 1/2 hours journey. We were nearly late for the bus thus all 5 of us were running from The Reach to the station. Didn't manage to catch a cab neither so the last choice would be it. Unfortunately Elle has her leg sprained. Luckily she still could walk.

There is only 5 or 7 persons only in the bus. The bus stop by Manchester airport and Manchester.

When we arrived, we walk around the city and later followed a friend to Strawberry farm by bus. The bus arrive at 1.15pm and we only manage to spend some time over there. It was very nice and breezy on that day. We manage to hand pick our own strawberry in the farm and ate it freshly by our own pick. So fresh and sweet compared to Malaysia strawberry.

Honestly we ate a lot of strawberries that day (w/o paying) :P

This strawberry looks like a love shape or heart shape. It is my first experience in UK to get to handpick the fruits. Something extraordinary I had did in UK rather than traveling.

Peasant feel. I felt like living in a peasant village.

We leave the farm at 3.00pm cause our bus is at 4.05pm. However we waited for the bus for quite some time and to no avail there is no bus neither black cab or Delta cab could be found here! Normally Delta cab can only be found in Liverpool at affordable price. And frankly we had too many times rely on Delta haha... Unexpectedly, it has been our transport more than the time we took bus! Luckily we made it to the National Exp station sharp at 4.05pm & we are the last group of people departs.

Leeds

We reach Leeds around 5pm and transit for about 1 hour. Therefore we walk around the city. This city is famous for Law student. Many lawyers in Malaysia are actually graduates from Leeds. Leeds is a another beautiful city as well and many nice buildings around which is ancient. Not to forget is a lot of branded shop could be found there as well and is a good place to shop. However it was all close at 5p.m. What left is only a view from outside of the shop.
The street after 5pm. No car and no people. Where is everyone gone?

One of the shopping complex walk way when it was close. So lonely and quiet ........after 5pm

We reach Liverpool around 8 something. Contented and relax on the whole journey. We had Subway on the way from Leeds and biting the Sandwiches all the way to the bus stop.

Cest La Vie ....

2009-10-20T03:31:00.002+08:00

This is life !! Love this quote so much ! And its true .. this is what we called life. A cycle which is imminent and the world goes round and round ! It is so small that we actually known each other thru friends of our friends. Today I might have seen you in a photo but the next day I might have see in as a real person. I wont recognise you until I found out that is actually you! "you" !

Feeling so excited with the upcoming challenges! I swear to myselF i will go back there again somewhere in the future. I will never forget this promise to myself. I will find my ways...

For the past few days I am thinking a lot ..... i was figuring out how to get back and how to realised my dream ?? Yes ... I now know what my aim is .... cheerish ! this is the word i can say :)

Bidding goodbye now to my straight hairs... hope tomorrow is a new day for me ^^ yes ... please come to me. I am getting ready myself but quite nervous actually! Haha....

Think afar, look ahead of you. Tomorrow will be a better day !!

thinking of updating my blog soon with more story mory and photos... lovely !! ^^

DreaMing

2009-10-13T03:41:00.002+08:00

Every time i keep my eyes shut ... I will be thinking I had just woke up from a very good and nice dream. I still cant belief I am back here. It was so good to be in a dream. My experience in UK for the pass 4 months was very great indeed. I miss the life and the time in UK . I still cant except that I am back to here I still will smile when I think of it.

Whenever I want to sleep and closing my eyes I will think of many things. I still cant belief that I am back. I kept feeling that I had a very nice dream for the pass 4 months. My dream is very sweet ..and I smile vividly to myself .......

I felt that I would never want to wake up from my sweetest dream again. But I cant. I am awaken and everything goes back to normal and the original. What I've got? A tons of memory from UK...

Back here makes me felt stressful. Time not like last time. I seek for freedom. I hate commitment, I hate CONTROL freak. I wish to have my own space. I wish to do what I like without having any interference. Don't block my ways. Let me do what I likes... I know where my boundaries is. I know what should I do. I know when to stop. I am seeking for freedom and I am independent....

Sometime I felt so lost. Nothing is certain ! Please let me be what I am..... Too many uncertainty. Sorry ....... I am very sorry. I am confused. I don't wish to hurt my loves one but I am struggling. I never meant to hurt you but please let me have my own freedom. Thou shall know what I mean. Not only you but to you !

When will I have it again?

Back To Where We Begin

2009-09-30T01:30:00.003+08:00

240909

Its now back to where we begin. Still a bit not getting over it. Trying very hard to get over it. The 1st day I am back to Malaysia on 240909 which marks my birthday am very tiring. Tears drop only when I was about to step into cars in KLIA car park. Uncontrollably .......

Called her up and told her I misses her and a bunch of friend very much. Feeling so weird going back again to her normal life. Sailing all the way back to my home, chatted thru with my bf all the way home.

The moment I was to step into my house, I shouted "I am back" !! Screaming voice is all I could heard. I cant stop my tears from dropping and it was unexpected at all. I thought I would have cried in the airport or plane. Neither do I, but unexpectedly I had my tear dropping from my eyes. Overjoy and sorrow on what had happen to my family recently.

In the eve family celebrated my bday at home with a cakes and dinner. Tiring day but later at night when out to meet my ji mui and friends and having another birthday blast in friend's shop. This is how my big day when thru .......

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Had all days sleeping till almost dawn and waking up having dinner at Mamak with cousin sis. Since couldnt sleep at night, staying awake with my sweetie lap top till 6am the next day. Had all my days almost upside down on the beginning.

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Not feeling well as having a slight sore thoats, flu and headache. Wake up at 5pm and sleep again at 1230am till the next morning.

280909

Accompanying dad to hospital. Realised dad looks 10 years older from his age after a very long fever last 2 weeks. Dad is very weak and not like last time. When to GH today and realized something. I used to accompany mom to GH last time and dad was the one who fetch us. But it was the other way round now. I am so sad we didn't sent dad for body check up previously. It was now all in a go. Might be the awareness is not with us all the while. Dad was so fit all the while and been in RELA actively. Pray sickness is all away from my family and things would turn better in the future. I was being attracted on a signboard in the hospital. Mom asked me to see doctor together with dad. But due to laziness and the crowd I was hold back from seeing doc. There's a notice on H1N1- have you been traveling to the list of country below in the last 7 days in Malay? :-

America UK Swiszerland
Sepanyol Jerman
Belanda Itali

and etc and experiencing fever, flu, cough, headache, sore throats, bodyache, vomitting and etc. If yes, please seek for medical help. I was a lil worried. What if I would be quarantine by the hospital if I were to inform I has just came back from UK within 7 days!! So worried hopefully can quickly recover from illness. I 've been very lucky. I was so afraid and scare I would have fall sick in UK . bUT lucky that I have never fall sick during my time in UK and only fall sick when I was back in Malaysia. Thanks to my body for cooperating. :)

290909

I am sleeping again the whole day like I had never woke up again. I SLEEP and sleep and sleep like there's never a tomorrow. Am so tired and lifeless. I am telling to myself, i NEED to stand up again and need to get over it. I still miss Uk life and friends but never get over it till now. Feeling laziness is all around. Finally touched on the luggage. Almost a week still haven't finish unload my stuffs haha. Wanna have a big house keeping on my room. Things are real messy as I don't remember where I kept my stuffs-my money! Don't know where I keep my foreign currency and things are everywhere and things doesn't belong to me also appear everywhere. Headache .......

Darling fall sick today and just fetch him to clinic just now. Makes me recall of UK car again. The signal and the viper is on the opposite side in Malaysia. Nearly press on the wrong side of signal just now. Silly ... and mades me recall of UK.

Nothing much to expect anymore but to wait for the other time to comes. Next were to expect to look for a good job and thinking about future in this few days. Another important turning point again in my life. :)

Nothing is permanent friend. Bear with it for another few more weeks and you will eventually get over it. But you need to help yourself too. No one could help you but only you !

Bon Voyage ~

2009-09-24T03:08:00.004+08:00

Hi everyone ,

Bon Voyage to all of you !! Everyone is leaving back to home and this is the end of our sweetest dreams in UK !! hard to find back this feel next time. This year the most memorable time would be during my UK life !! Thanks to Chiun Siew, Mayyi, Leemian, Lai Kuan, Si Yuan, Adelynne, Su Yen, Ah Cheng, CK, Jack, GuaN hENG, Ming Kiat and etc!!

yOU guys really did cherish my life and it would always be in my heart and I hope I wont forget every details and moment we had had and gone thru for the past 3 and a half months. It is the happiest moment in my life and its sad that we had to depart. How I wish it could stay eternal forever and how I hope it could be extended.

Love you guys very much !!! CS thanks for acc me all the while and miss the time we had at the end of our UK summer course, Mayyi your being a lovely friends and cheerful all the time !! Glad to have chance to be your house mate in EUro and Atlantic Point . To Lee Mian, your being so kind all the while and glad to see your changes from beginning till the end. And to Lai Kuan, your being funny all the while, we are gonna miss your craps and jokes!! lol.

To Si YuAN, sad that you are not departing with us but I'd like to thank you for being a listener during the Euro trip to hear me blured out my dilemma and nice to know you and you are a joker man!! Adelynne babe and Su Yen, thanks for your wantan mee and we always been talking about every occasion we had at Atlantic Point. Without you guys we wont have - Steamboat, BBQ, meteor rain, Mr Chilli, Walkabout , dim sum, Lobster Pot, wantan meal and many mores !!! Without you guys our life wont be that colorful ...

And not to forgot is those from Flat 50 !! Ah Cheng which is the most "fai" among all of us and talking lotsa craps without thinking tho its quite funny. Crazy but weird guy! Yes, I am going back home as you always asked me to so I wont "chiong fan woon". I wont forget "how I step on your foot" haha.

"Siu Bai Du" - CK thanks for your gossip. Without you gossiping with us I think we would not been that close. HAha... its very touching to have the supper made by you "burger" and "cha yip dan". We will always remember you when thinking of food - no worries ~~

Follow by Guan Heng another weird lad we had known recently. Also like to tell lies and talk craps. Talk without limit but on the same time very "sam pat". Likes to buy gossip from us and also exchange haha. Talks to you makes me want to vomit blood...

Last but not least, our "lou pan" Jack. A famous photog among us and our head of every trip. Really enjoy your broken Mandarin and famous quote "hua chi ta" or "yi pi pu jiang chang". "Sweat". took lots of our nice photo and a good trip planner. Thank you for bringing us to so many trips and made our UK summer course so colorful by bringing us to all the Wonders !!!

One more person would like to thank to is Ming Kiat for accompanying us to do crazy stuffs in the Landsend trip! a good and nice chatter . Can chat almost anything with anyone and very kind as well. help me a lot during the ending of my last few weeks in UK .

Good bye and keep in touch everyone !! Once again.. thanks for making my life so colorful during my study in UK !!! You were all the best and glad to known you all !!! It is fate that makes us meeting each other. So please treasure the friendship and make sure the chain is on going ....

Save the memory down on the memory lane and its always in my mind, heart and soul. I will MISS UK life VERY MUCH and is missing it right at the moment now !!!!!!!!!

~EsMei~
Abu Dhabi airport
Terminal 32
11.45pm local time

Voice of Me ...

2009-09-16T12:07:00.003+08:00

Things happen and passing very soon. I am bidding goodbye to Euro and UK and going back very soon. I am very surprised on what I heard yesterday mid night. I receive some bad news from my family and they needed me to be back home.

I am very sad and sorrow on what had happen. I plan and I think for so long and finally its all not going to happen. I plan to stay in UK and not going back home so soon but last night had all my plans faded.

Mom said "you don't have to change your flight so soon but you just need to come back as plan originally". I am very sad and solemn as I am not ready to be home yet. I had lots of struggle and difficulty before coming and it felts the cycle is coming back and I am wondering "why".

I want to call back home but to no avail I doesn't have anymore credit, I think of topping up online but I don't have my PUK code, I walk pass the grocery store in Paris and there's no Sim card sold. I am feeling helpless but to wait for another few days to back to London.

Its ain't easy to come out with the final decision as I am struggling all the while and I have lots of worries and fear beforehand. When I've already decided and just left a few more steps to go, I am stuck here and had all the dreams or plans smear. It all crash down n I was so solemn. I did so many things and when I was about to see the light, I was being held back again to the darkness :(

I don't think I will be getting anymore such opportunity next time. I miss it and I don't have choice or any other route to take further. I just want to make it happen but I held back and when I was indeed trying very hard to get thru it and I am so stuck. Tears dropping whenever I think of it that I would never make it and its not gonna happen as I need to leave. All my hopes, dreams, plan all gone. I am crying solemnly to myself ........

I pray to God Almighty to bless me and my family in going thru all the obstacles and everyone is in good health. I am really sorry to my family. They have been hiding from me cause don't want to let me worry and giving me the last sweetest trip in UK. Sis I know you are having a hard time and it is very tough to you and your family. You still have your family to look after and bro I hope you have your things settled.

I am SO SORRY again to my family for not being able to be with them during the hard time. Everyone please take care and I will be returning very soon. To Liverpool friend that has been with me all the time.. thank you for cheering me all the while and thank you for giving me such a sweet memories. I will bring back home tons of sweet memory back to Malaysia!!

Euro Tour Begins

2009-09-12T07:30:00.010+08:00

Bought this lovely earing at Venice. However has drop 1 side of it :( Look around few places still cant find it. Its not the money matters, its the memories. Bought it for 2 Euros which is very cheap...

At Paris Eiffel Tower & Louvre Museum

At Swiss- Mount Titlis. It was very exciting to see the snow and it was thrill!!!

In Milan church - lighting the candles for prayer

Group Photog - Tong Hang Coach D !!!

The ladies of the day - Liverpool team again at Florence ...

VENICE - it has always been only a scene from the movie or photo but never had I imagined I would be in Venice on the boat... So happy and the view is just nice !

In front of Rome- Colosseum with LJMU friends... also another place which is quite popular in Italy!

And here you go another place in Florence which is Pisa -the leaning tower !!!

At Brussels - Manicken Pis! today the Manicken Pis is wearing a mask with special appearance and hence there were a group of Mask group people walking around in a parade ...

This is the well known Holland - Kinderkijk. If I am not mistaken this is the spelling haha. Correct me if I am wrong. Another spectacular place.

Having Italian spaggetti at VENICE! it taste good but cost around 16 Euros and we had all out teeth blackish during the meal !! yummy !!!

It's been a WHile ..........

2009-09-02T08:44:00.005+08:00

Will be back for more ..........................

Sorry updates was been very slow. Hope to organise my blog by putting more picture soon. Seeing some of the pictures makes me excited and happy especially during flash back on some videos. Vividly smile when looking on the pictures taken.

Brother once told me " nothing is permanent" and to enjoy this moments of life cause happy moment is NOW happening in my LIFE!! Once pass it ends ! Quoted from a cousin "

do something crazy but within reason, have lots of fun and take tons of memory back"

It has always been playing on minds.... but in between I struggle too. Mom once called me up and said "auntie told me that normally those who when to UK for summer top up go there to travel and holidays mostly" . Mom asked me for clarification. Sadly I had no answer given to her and silently I nodded on the phone.

Life is always on the bottom line. Her words are playing around my mind as I WONDER am I wasting mom's money? Thanks to mom for reminding me once again I am here to study not for holiday. However I have no regrets in coming to UK and I believes others do too.

There goes an end to the story and now am preparing to pack my stuffs. Sad and moody but rational thinking thought me to look to the future. Had enough of play now its time to say "Good Bye "

Its been a while I've gone and didn't update my blogs...
Time flies.. I open this blog when I was in UK and now I am gonna leave UK soon... end of my study life once again....

I really treasure on my life here in UK for 3 months and had knew a few wonderful friends!! Been to a few trips from North to South of UK. From John O'Groats to Landsend and covered almost the whole UK - Wales, Ireland, England and Scotland.

Most unforgettable trip would be John O'Groats. Sense of mystic feel and full of mystery places. Solemn and peace but lonely. Being a lone ranger we all when there and 1 thing i never did was to walk in deep towards the path to the cliffs further in. THIS would be the thing I most hard felt which I never done.

Recent trip made me realise its nearing to ending but another new beginning though.

My previous working place- Citiphone

2009-07-26T05:46:00.003+08:00

Its finally my last day on 140509. Its really sad after being with CTB for about 1 year. Memories which is much treasured and the exprience in handling call which hardly forgotten. Good working environment and nice colleague. If opportunity allows I do hope to go back again but not in Citiphone again. Haha ... Hereby I handed back my property to Citibank on my last day. On my last day Lavanya from HR which also an ex colleague of mine had cut my cards into pieces! Gosh ... no more Clear cd for discount in cinema, Gosh no more poshy Gold card to swept haha. Life goes on though. After settling down after my graduation I would be applying again.

This is Debbie girl the cheerful ladies once upon a time in my batch. She no longer working there as well as she is now continuing studies like me too but she is doing Master. We both are performing on "Citiphone Got Talents Day"... some memories behind before leaving the company.

Taking photo together with me is my team member and my team manager. He has help us a lot and me as well whenever we encounter anything he will be there to settle thing for us. He alway think out of the box and I 've learnt a lot from him as well. Two more pretty lady beside is my colleague which are among my senior.

This pic my look was terrible as its already 1045pm but I am still in the office to decorate for F1 on the eve of my last day !!!

Thinking back on my previous working life in Citibank it was quite fun though and challenging. Cause you will never know when you will be fire by the customer. Working in customer service line aint easy. But of course there are some funny customer as well and some even flirt with you on the phone :) haha.

There are a few customer I won't forget in my life but thank to them as well as they also though me a lot and built my confidence in handling calls.

Chester - City in Cheshire England

2009-07-25T07:34:00.008+08:00

What I've bought at CheshireOat - Sequin tank top fm Next shop, Dresses from Jane Norman, A pair of shoes from Nike and glitter eye liner from LA SENZA ... it was from our 2nd visit recently on 180709

This is CheshireOat

In front of Chester Cathedral

The clock, which is supposed to be the second most photographed clock in Britain, is Victorian and only just over 100 years old

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Chester is a city in Cheshire, England. It is an ancient city used as a fortress during Roman expansion. Besides this this place is very near to Liverpool and it is also known for the factory outlet for branded goods located at CheshireOats.

-York- walled city

2009-07-25T06:52:00.009+08:00

Little Shamble - Medieval Street in York

River Ouse

Its a busy street at York - Stonegate

View from the City Wall

York Minster

Clifford Tower

Never had I imagined I would be here. 9 years back my bro been to the same place and the pic is now hanging at my home. I am so fortunate having this opportunity to study in UK :) . Nevertheless thanks to both my parents and siblings for their support.. Passing by here makes me missed my family and bro who is now in Vietnam.

On 270609

Here we go another school trip to York which located at North Yorkshire, England. It is known for the wall city. The city is very busy and the most of the street are quite narrow and guess what? Its difficult to have empty spaces even to take a good pic haha.

Visit to BlackPool - Stanley Park - Louis Tussaud Wax House

2009-07-22T07:06:00.007+08:00

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When to Blackpool on this day by train from Liverpool. Never did any survey but we just bought the ticket and when to the sea side. Stunning sea view with the blackpool tower around. Absolutely a good place to visit. Most importantly is the experience and the exposure. The difference is it is such a sunny day in Blackpool when we go and we had a walk to Stanley Park for about 45 mins. Tired but enjoyable :)

The most enjoyable is the visit to Louis Tussaud Wax House. In about just 1 hour we need to rush to took pic with the celeb wax. Total is 4 floors with different segment. We were sweating to rush over the whole museum. Fun although its rush !!

Manchester United famous for the FootBall team

2009-07-18T09:34:00.004+08:00

This is Manchester city. Chilling and walking around the downtown till dawn....

Manchester was 1 of the most memorable trip. Especially visiting the stadium and able to feel the field. Feeling so real so true like in a dream. Never had I imagine I will be there. I only watch World Cup but are proud I when to MU to visit the team. Brought in by a tour guide in the Stadium to walk around at Old Trafford it was indeed an informative tour around the Stadium.

To be able to feel how the player felt when walking out to the field, its truly a worth while trip to pay 8 pound to get in. Small souvenir we got is the MU strap and also a cert !!

UK Biggest Theme Park- Alton Tower

2009-07-18T09:16:00.004+08:00

Besides the thrill of the roller coaster really tested on your adrenaline. Every seconds your heart beat increased as though it was a time bomb. The fear is unimaginable.

20609 Alton Tower

Today we when to Alton Tower on the way to the place it had took about 2 1/2 hours journey by bus. The place is located at Staffordshire. The roller coaster was rated by stars. The highest the ranking the dreadful it is. It was so big we cant finish walking and playing around but manage to took a lot picture. Most amazing is the aquaria. Its worth to go in because there are many sea creatures we have never seen before and it is well preserve too.

~Moving around Liverpool for the 1st few weeks ~

2009-07-18T06:21:00.010+08:00

When first arrived in Liverpool, everything look so different for me. In terms of people, environment and price! Haha... the weather here was very cold. 15 Celcius and for Asian it felt so cold. Love the environment and the ppl here is very polite in their very own manner. The architecture look so special but it is an abandon building

On 060609 we when to Lord Mayor's Pageant. It is a parade in Liverpool city. Interesting and happening as well

Inside Liverpool Cathedral

" I know that you know I love you ". This is the phrase from the word on the wall behind me. Meaningful ?

Outside the Museum Door Entrance

This is Superlambanana - Symbolise Liverpool

standing before me is Metropolitan Cathedral
Very nice Cathedral with lots of interior and you may find peace sitting inside while praying. But Huge music instrument were placed inside with tunes of solace sound.

This is an abandon church St Luke behind John Foster Building. The outer look old and the inside actually had been bomb due to post war previously leaving unmaintained but still nice to look but also great to hang around ! ^^

Finally talk about the room in Atlantic Point. It was comfy as we have our own toilet and living alone far away has thought me a lot of Kemahiran Hidup. Everyday routine was to think of what to cook and everything was done by own self. Quite enjoy as this is the 1st time I am far away from my family. I love the feeling of it and appreciating every moment with my house mate. Crazy + funny !!!

First dinner prepared by me for all hse mate. Yummy ..... :p

Spanish dinner at La Tasca. Cost 1 person more than 10 pound !!
Very costly but a good experience in tasting new food. Actually very sakit hati.... haha.

Another gone... we we moves to another place to explore more.........

The first pic is somewhere around L1 and the 2nd is at Maritime Museum at Albert Dock. Its around mid nite and 4 of us storm out to walk around. We really have guts though it was quite fearful when going back home. My friend even been disturb by a caucasian. Patting the shoulder and asked "How much"? To our thrill we jus move away cool and steady ^^

~ Arriving Liverpool ~

2009-07-03T03:01:00.002+08:00

31052009

1st day arriving Liverpool was indeed a blessing after 14 hours flight. The view above the sky was blueish and I was sitting alone all the way at the window seat when I was in the air plane.

Seated beside me was an uncle who stay in London and another flight was a man who resides in Australia. The whole journey was long but the view was superb and I am so happy and excited along the way to my hall of residence which is Atlantic Point.

~The Beginning of My Journey ~

2009-06-30T05:52:00.000+08:00

On 27th May 2009 my hearts feel so heavy after having family dinner at Melawati somewhere near my house . It was indeed a memorable day as it was my family gathering. Its rare to have all sitting together for dinner. And some tremendous series of sorrow happen last 2 weeks finally we have managed to settle down with a smile :) It was the hardest 2 weeks for us all and the toughest for me too.

However in every cloud there is a silver lining ~~ Time flies and time is eternal. The only way is to let it still. It ain't easy for me to made it thru to UK. I encounter many constraint and struggles and the most I miss is my loving mom!!

Special thanks to my family member! Without my dad, sis and bro support I wouldn't be here blogging about my UK life !!! Thousand Thanks to my family for making it happen. I am very glad to make it so far and my dreams come true **